Unseemly

when a tramp asks for change
and I'm forced to oblige
it's unseemly

when the wife starts in crying
in the dead of the night
it's unseemly

when a driver asks me
if I'd like a good time
it's unseemly

when the doctor starts asking
about my insides
it's unseemly

always an assault on dignity

when the boy tried to tell me
he's always liked men
it's unseemly

I'm not interested now
nor was I then
it's unseemly

when a colleague starts blubbering
about his infidelity
it's unseemly

my mouth says I care
but my eyes hope he'll leave
it's unseemly

always an assault on dignity

when the dealer must haggle
and dance bout his price
when my daughter explains
why she wants my advice
when the wife has to scoop up
what Fifi egests
when senile old Mother
leaves an unspeakable mess
when the bellhop is smiling
fishing for tips
it rises inside me
just back of my lips
I retreat to my study
walnut benign
and sip a good port
gainst an unseemly time