Burgled

See there? Just my luck
Blink once, and it's all hauled off in a pickup truck
With a false gold smile and a pretty gaze
Caprice gone wild for her gypsy ways
A treacle piled in an evening gown
A light glaze on a leprous frown

See now? There's my number
Right there, painted in a white light bright as summer
With a paunch and a hunch and cholesterol pills
And a failsafe system to pay the bills
On time, that's hope you can't abandon
That's the opening for Mammon

Yeah yeah, that's my cue
Hear that? An insistent bray from across the room
And here's ten bucks I saved all week
I'm gonna win my girl a big stuffed sheep
And even if it weren't for my dismal aim
And even if it weren't a crooked game
And even if the prize weren't folderol
What gall! What call have you to burgle me?
Burgle me?

Statements down at the precinct now
Take the bus back into town
Shame rest on my pasty brow
Doubt's a thing I won't allow
So tell me how how how how
How you gonna beat what won't compete
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